//currently listening to Polar Similar by Norma Jean//
I was listening to the Starting From Nothing podcast while loading trucks at UPS yesterday and the interviewee said something that really hit me. If it weren't for podcasts and audiobooks, I don't know what I'd do. I learn a lot from them, but they also help me forget where I am when I'm feeling particularly shitty at work. It's been more of a constant lately though, and I started to feel self-conscious about my attitude while at work. I always try to put on a smiling face, but in my head, it's the jungles of Vietnam. I'm a hard worker but have found myself having a very negative attitude towards having to work lately, but what this guy said shed a lot of light on the issue. Some may see it as a justification for just having a bad attitude, but I found it enlightening. Okay, have I dragged out the suspense long enough? Should I keep going? Leave this post on a cliff hanger? "You'll never guess what happens next!". Okay, so he quoted something he read somewhere else, but what he said was "People with higher pain tolerances often have lower standards". I explained this to my girlfriend, but she didn't quite see it the same way I did, so I'd be interested to hear what you think.
We've all watched the World Cup for the sake of being a part of the conversation, and I'm sure we've all noticed that those dudes roll on the ground screaming over every blade of astroturf that touches their shoelaces. They're the biggest fakers in the world. And I used to be that guy when I played soccer in Jr. High, and I was damn good at turning the ball over for faking injuries from non existent contact. This isn't at all relevant to what I'm trying to say, so I'll quickly pivot after linking to this amazing .gif I know we've all seen. Someone get that man an Emmy. Or is it an Oscar. Whatever. I guess what I'm trying to say is my pain tolerance for doing a job I'm not interested in is very very low, much like the stud you see above in the red jersey. I'll do the job, and I'll work hard, but I'll be hella salty about it.
This is what I took away from that quote. There are people I work with at UPS that say, "This job isn't so bad. It's hard work but it's a job. Yeah it only pays $10.15/hour and you have to work (5) 3.5 hour days, but it's not THAT bad. So this is where I might piss some people off. I think these people are fucking lying to themselves. Their higher pain tolerance, or high tolerance for working a very physically intense, low paying job are what keeps themselves in that position. I was really beating myself up for possibly feeling too privileged or like I was too good to load trucks at UPS, and while that line in the podcast wouldn't justify those feelings, I don't feel guilty about hating being there anymore. I have a very clear vision of what I want to be doing for a living, and I'm not going to be happy unless my day job lines up with that vision. Now, I know I haven't put in the work to deserve a high paying position with the exact company I want to work with, but if I'm not at least working towards that goal, then fuck whatever I'm doing is kind of how I feel. Now, I don't want to work for someone else's company. I want Elemental to take off and take the podcasting world by storm and I can just lock myself in a dark studio and work 16 hours a day and not have to talk to anyone. I'll work until I physically can't anymore if it's for the network or even a job I care about. I'm not strangers to busting my ass 16 hours a day. Hell, I've worked 8 hours shifts, then come home, recorded a 2 hour podcast, then stayed up another 4 hours until 4 in the morning only to wake back up at 7am to finish the edit for a 12 noon publishing. And I'm proud of that. I love working on this stuff, and I'll do what it takes to get it right. But as much as I love receiving packages in the mail and love to imagine the smile on others faces when they get the package that I loaded into the truck, I kind of want to smash it to pieces when I see it coming down the belt for me to load.
You probably think I'm acting like a spoiled brat who's just looking for justification for having a bad attitude. Maybe, but I'm trying to use it as motivation o moe up and move on. I wish more people did that. I know so many people who work unskilled, low paying jobs when they are capable of SOOOO much more. Maybe the "everything is just fine" attitude is the better one to have, but if you relate it to the quote above, it keeps you in a suboptimal position. So I don't know. If you hate your job and know you're capable of more, do something about it. You're not stuck. Spending 8 hours a day in misery isn't worth it, and I learned that when I left my coffee job making around $20/hr with tips for a woodworking job starting at $12/hr. It was a huge pay cut, but I didn't want to hang myself from the ceiling fan when I was there, and that mental stability was worth that $8/hr. Trust me. If you hate your job, please find another one. If you hate your partner, tell that MOFO to pack up and get the fuck out of your face. Don't waste a second. If you don't like something, change it. Immediately. Not tomorrow, not tonight, right fucking now. Lay out all the things that are in the way of you and your perfect life and 1 by 1, destroy them. Don't be this guy. Alright, I've convinced myself. Gonna get off the computer and take action.
Until next time,